Ar dheis Dé go raibh a hanam
by abercrombieprep
Summary: Post "The Telling" --- a slightly Sarkney story (4/5)
1. Bring Me Home

**Ar** dheis Dé go raibh a h-anam****

**By- Abercrombieprep**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing beyond Elaina and Hannah Snyder… and Katherine. Everyone else is JJ's madness!

**Rating- **PG-13 for some language

**Part One**

**Bring Me Home**

_"Since that night you've been missing... you've been missing for almost two years."_

She stared. Stared at Vaughn because it was the only thing she could do. She couldn't breathe, the air in the room was suddenly gone and she was tumbling, tumbling into a world of darkness.

"Syd..." Vaughn said. He couldn't bring his eyes up to hers, but that was for the best. She knew that if she saw those innocent green irises, now tainted in her mind, she would be sick.

"Syd, look at me," he choked.

She did, as it was her natural reaction to his pleading.

And she was sick. She felt it as soon as her eyes locked on his. Acid ran up her throat and she threw up the contents of her last, mysterious meal on Vaughn. 

She was barely aware of Vaughn picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom. 

She woke up in her cot, but did not open her eyes. Her hair felt damp, and she was wearing new, albeit snug clothes.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. She saw Vaughn sitting in a chair across the room. She had the immediate notion to shut her eyes, pull the sheets over her head, and pretend she had died in her sleep. Luckily, she was more reasonable and lifted her body into a sitting position, locking her eyes on the ground. 

"The plane leaves in an hour. I was just about to wake you," Vaughn mumbled.

Sydney nodded slightly. 

"I've called everyone. Will, your mother, your father, Weiss, Marshall, and Dixon, and told them to meet us when we land."

"Thank you," Sydney said while standing up. She could tell by Vaughn's tone that it was time to leave. 

"I'll try to bring you up to speed on the plane if you want. A lot has happened in the past two years."

Sydney pointedly glanced at the wedding band on his finger, "Yeah."

Vaughn sighed, but didn't say anything. He weakly opened the door and held it open for her. She brushed past him and headed towards the exit. 

She stopped when she reached the outdoors. It was light now, she and could finally make out exactly where she was. It was a hospital, but they weren't at the main entrance. In fact, they were in a small side building that looked nearly abandoned. 

Vaughn nodded to a bright red Ford Explorer, "The doors are unlocked."

The car reeked of fresh leather, the smell only enhanced by the fact that it had been sitting out in direct sunlight. From the few seconds it had taken her to cross the parking lot, Sydney was already drenched in sweat. Saying it was humid was an understatement. The few cars she could see had condensation buildup on their windows, the contrast between the cool air-conditioning and the wet air outside evident. 

Vaughn took his place at the driver's wheel, and Sydney had the urge to ask him if he was sure of where he was going. She knew it was just anxiety, Vaughn was perfectly capable of handling a foreign city, and it wouldn't even be a strain. All of the street signs were in both Chinese and English. She just didn't want anything to go wrong. She wanted everything to be perfect.

In a perfect world, she reminded herself, she wouldn't be in this situation. Francie would be real, whole, alive. Will wouldn't have been injured. Her mother would be innocent. She wouldn't have lost the last two years of her life. In a perfect world, Vaughn wouldn't be married. 

She sat there, in stony silence for a few seconds before she worked up the courage to ask him, "Who is she?"

"Who?" Vaughn asked, oblivious to her tone.

"Her," Sydney said, pointing at his ring. "Your wife."

"Oh, Laina."

"Her name is Laina?" Sydney asked, surprised. He didn't seem like a Laina kind of guy. Definitely more of a Sydney guy, she thought icily.

"Well, Elaina, but I call her Laina," Vaughn said, as if guarding anything remotely emotional. It was like he didn't want to tell Sydney anything about her. 

"So how did you meet?"

"Syd, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"You told me you'd tell me about the past two years. You told me that a lot happened. I want to know about this. I don't care if you don't want to talk about it now, I do."

Vaughn heaved a sigh, "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No it cannot wait!" Sydney exclaimed, enraged. "Because the last thing I remember is you and I planning to go to Santa Barbra. Because the last thing I remember is you dropping me off at my house. All I remember is being in love with you, and you loving me. It's the only thing I want to remember, but I can't live in a fantasy world."

Vaughn is silent for a moment, but Sydney can sense that he has given in. He just needs a moment to think.

She needs a lifetime to think.

"Elaina and I met in a different sort of way. It was through my mother, somewhat. You see, after you disappeared, I became very reclusive. My mother wanted me to go see a therapist that specialized in treating those who's loved ones were kidnapped or murdered. I refused of course, but my mother can be very conniving. Sometimes I think she should be the one working at the CIA," Vaughn laughed. "Anyway, she told me that she wanted me to deliver a package to a friend, so I went to her "friend's" office and the receptionist told me that she could see me in a minute. Turns out her "friend" was the therapist."

Sydney gave the faintest of laughs. She supposed the story would be funny if it wasn't the story of how her lover had met his wife. 

"The first few sessions, I only went because of my mother. But finally I decided it was the best thing for me. I met Elaina on June 22. She had come into the waiting room in hysterics. I tried to calm her down the best I could, and she finally started to talk to me."

_"I'm sorry, I just can't help it," she choked out. _

_Michael rubbed her back in slow circles, "It's okay. It's best to let it all out rather than hold it in."_

_The woman took a deep breath and let it out. "You'd think I'd have learned how to deal with this by now. It's only been twelve years." _

_Michael gave the woman a small smile and handed her a tissue. He wondered if the pain he felt now would last that long. "You can go into see Katherine first, if you'd like. I can wait."_

_"Oh no, I can make it. I don't want to steal your time. Usually just sitting in this office helps calm me down. I only come here twice a year now, and as soon as I walk in I feel a little bit better," she replied. Then her head popped up, "How very rude of me. I'm Elaina Snyder." _

_He shook her proffered hand, "Michael Vaughn."_

_"You're new here. I've never seen you before."_

_"Yeah, this is only my seventh time here, I think."_

_"Wow. Do you mind if I ask what happened?"_

_"My girlfriend was kidnapped, we assume. I don't know. There hasn't been any ransom note, anything. She could be dead for all we know," Michael said._

_"Oh," she said, suddenly very quiet._

_"And you?" he asked, trying to forget the pain the simple question had caused._

_"My little sister, Hannah.__ She was kidnapped when she was in third grade. They found her body in a field seven months later. She'd be twenty one today, if I hadn't failed her," she whispered, fresh tears forming in her eyes._

_"I'm sure you didn't fail her. With as much love as you obviously feel for her, I don't know how you could have failed her," Michael said, trying to help her. Her eyes were an uneasy shade of grey, and he could almost hear them screaming out in pain._

_"It was my turn to watch her. We only live five blocks from the school, so on warm days she walked home. I sat by the window all night waiting, waiting for her to walk through the door. She never did."_

_"That's not failing your sister. That's having trust in society. Society, or rather one person, failed you," he stressed._

_Elaina smiled at him. "You'd make a pretty good shrink, you know?"_

_Suddenly feeling a little bit more confident, Michael asked, "Would you like my number? In case you want to talk, but don't want to pay some outrageous price…"_

_She smiled again, "Yeah, I'd appreciate that. There are some days I just want someone to talk to, but I don't want to spend the money to come here. I know what Katherine is going to say to me, it's the same every time."_

"It wasn't that I just gave up on you Sydney, you have to believe that. But there comes a point where one has to move on. The first few weeks after you went missing I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk. I felt like I did when that door slammed in front of me in Taipei. That I'd never see you again… all I wanted was for you to be safe."

"So while someone was doing god knows what to me… you were off getting married?"

"I got married two weeks ago, Sydney. It wasn't like I just ran off in search of another woman to replace you. It's not like I could ever find someone to replace you. What we had was special, and it still is. But what I have with Elaina is even more special. You of all people should understand that."

Sydney stared at him, confused.

"Didn't you feel like you needed someone to support you when Danny was killed? Didn't you feel like you need a little bit of guidance?"

"Of course I did, but I didn't go around fucking them!" Sydney screamed at him. Comparing Danny's death to her disappearance was the last straw. 

Vaughn's eyes became malicious. "Don't you ever say that again. I would never, ever sleep with someone out of pain. I love Elaina with all my heart. She is a good woman, and I would never use her."

Sydney glared at him, but didn't say anything. She was mad, but she also realized that she must have hurt Vaughn. 

Stony silence consumed the car, as neither side wanted to apologize to the other. 

When they reached the airport, Sydney knew she had to tell Vaughn she was sorry. It was going to be a long ride home if they were still at odds. Besides, she had a lot to catch up to do in a short time. 

"Vaughn, what I said earlier. I didn't mean it. I'm just… so lost and confused. If you and your wife are truly happy, then I'm happy."

Vaughn smiled at her, "Thanks, Syd."

"That's what friends are for, right?" she asked, getting settled into her seat and into her new position in Vaughn's life.

"Right," Vaughn replied. "So do you just want to ask me questions, and I'll answer them?"

"What happened to Will?"

Vaughn looked out the window as the plane began to rumble forwards. "I don't know when exactly I got to your house in relation to when you were kidnapped. All I know was when I got there the blood covering the floor, the walls… everything was still warm. I saw Will in the tub, wheezing just barely and I called the paramedics."

"Why did you come back to my house in the first place?"

"I was three blocks away from the Joint Task Force building before I realized I had left a disk I needed at your house, so I turned around and came back for it. When I got there I was in shock, there was glass everywhere. It looked like a house that had just been ripped through by a tornado. When I got to your room I saw Francie lying in a pool of blood, but I knew it was too late for her. So I was looking for you when I found Will," Vaughn replied. His distant manner told her that he was revisiting memories he didn't want to remember. 

"Did they ever find the real Francie?"

"Yes. Sark told us where she was. She got a proper funeral, which is what she deserved. Her body, the real Francie's body, sat in a meat locker in Georgia for months. She was killed the day SD-6 was taken down."

Teardrops formed in the corners of her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. "What about my mother? Sloane? Sark?"

"You're never going to believe this, but Sloane was murdered by your mother about six months after you disappeared. It seems that she and Sark had been working against Sloane for some time. She really wasn't betraying us."

"Sloane is dead and my mother and Sark are good?"

"Yeah, I know. Crazy."

Sydney laughed, "Did I win the lottery by any chance?"

"I don't think so. Not everyone is that lucky."

"So what happened to my mom and Sark? I mean… did the CIA just let them go?"

"They weren't just let go. They both live in houses in LA that have CIA cameras in almost every room. They have to check in every month, and if anyone senses that they've been engaged in any illegal activity they're subject to a lie-detector test. They also have to have a personal guard whenever they leave the States and must check in every twenty four hours when they leave LA. So far, they haven't warranted any suspicion."

"Wow. Life has changed a lot, hasn't it?" Sydney said, mulling over the fact that her whole world had gone on without her. 

"It'll take you a while to get back into the swing of things, but I think you'll find that although a few things have changed, in the grand scheme of things not that much has changed. Your dad is still the most intimidating person on the face of the planet, Marshall still stutters and gets flustered, Kendall still has something up his ass," Vaughn joked.

"Do you think I could get my job back?"

"I'm sure you could. You'll have to go under intense evaluation, drug induced regression, and lie testing before they'll let you out of their sight, but you'll pass."

"So how is my dad?"

"Good. I saw him right as I was about to take off, and I swear he was emitting some sort of radioactive glow. I've never actually seen him smile, so it was almost scary. He's so glad that you're back and safe. When you disappeared it was like his whole life was gone. You could tell that he was regretting and second-guessing every decision he had ever made while raising you. He loves you so much, Syd. You're his world."

"I know," Sydney said quietly. She laid her head down on the pillow provided and yawned. "I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap. Wake me before we land?"

"Of course."

**Please review! It makes my day ten million times brighter, and it'll inspire me to write more, and write quicker! **

**-Abs**


	2. Let Me Scream

**AN- **Short little chapter… more will be up soon. And to answer the question, yes this will be a Sarkney fic. Only it won't be too mushy!

**Ar**** dheis Dé go raibh a h-anam**

_Let Me Scream___

"Sydney, time to wake up," Vaughn said distantly.

"Just five more minutes," she responded. She pulled the blanket farther over her head and snuggled in, until Vaughn pulled it off. 

"We're about to land, and I think you'll want to be presentable. There will be a lot of people here who haven't seen you in two years."

Sydney, now thoroughly awake, glared at him. "Why do they care what I look like? I've been gone for two years; I don't think they'll notice."

"No, they wouldn't notice at the airport. They'd all be in shock, there. But I've been ordered to take you the Joint Task Force building. You'll probably be there for a good while. There's a washcloth and some soap in the bathroom, if you want to use it."

Sydney glared at him, but knew he was right. With Kendall in charge, she could be sitting in a cell for the next month. She definitely wanted to get the grit and grime off of her, as she knew prisoners, even if they had been missing for two years, didn't get amenities like shower time. 

Making her way back to the bathroom, she tried to keep her head up as much as possible. She didn't want Vaughn to think he had any effect on her, other than sheer annoyance. She had to tell herself that, for her own sake. She couldn't crumble with him around. Even if her heart wanted to cry out, she wouldn't give in. 

When the filth came off of her, staining the white cloth a dirty shade of grayish brown, it was like a release. Suddenly she could breathe, she could see everything, and she couldn't lie. Her body slid down the door and she fell into a sobbing heap. 

She didn't want to be weak, but yet her heart couldn't hold it in anymore. It wasn't just Vaughn, it was the fact that her whole life had been taken away from her for two whole years, and she couldn't do anything to get those years back. She could deal with Vaughn being married. Of course, if she hadn't have been kidnapped for two years, she wouldn't have to deal with any of it. If she hadn't been kidnapped, his heart would still belong to her. 

Standing up, and flicking the tears off her face, she made a resolution. She would no longer care. It didn't matter to her that Vaughn was married, because all she wanted was for him to be happy. It didn't matter that she was kidnapped, because at least she was alive. It didn't matter that she couldn't remember the last two years, because she had twenty eight years before that, and numerous years to come to remember. 

It didn't matter.

She rubbed the washcloth just a little too hard on her cheeks to cover up the tear tracks and took a deep breath. She repeated "It doesn't matter" in her head like a manta as she opened the door to the bathroom, and flashed Vaughn a bright smile. 

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little breakdown, but I'm okay now," she responded, making sure to keep her tone even. 

"We're going to land in about ten minutes, are there any last questions you have?"

"What's the world like now?"

Vaughn laughed, "I'm supposed to answer that in ten minutes?"

Sydney nodded at him.

"Well, it's different. Obviously, you've been gone for two years. George Bush is the president still, we're still building Iraq, and the Kings are still the best hockey team around. So I suppose nothing important has changed since you disappeared," he joked. 

The door to the cockpit opened, and a tall friendly man stuck his head out. "Agent Bristow, Agent Vaughn, we're going to start our landing now, if you'll please fasten your seatbelts, we should land at Edwards Air Force Base in a matter of minutes."

Sydney inwardly groaned. She loved flying, which was good because with her job it felt as if she spent more time in the air than on ground, but she hated landing. It was so jerky, so unmerciful. Taking off and flying were graceful activities, but landing was so different. Her hatred probably stemmed, psychologically at least, from the fact that when she landed, it often meant going back to the real world and telling more lies. 

Today, however, it didn't seem that bad. The landing was smooth, and she didn't feel upset about having to tell lies to anyone. 

Her life no longer revolved around lies.

Unfortunately, instead of a feeling of dread, she felt the distinct feeling of nervousness in the pit of her stomach. She wished she wasn't anxious over something so insignificant, but the fact that she knew that the people waiting for her hadn't seen her in two years mad her uneasy.

Suddenly the latch on the door opened, and a set of stairs was attached to the side of the plane. 

It was now or never. 

And it didn't matter.


	3. We're All Alone in This

**AN- **Yeah, it took me a while. Sarkney is coming up next chapter, but I had to get a story going. I won't leave you hanging! Thank you so much for all of your reviews, and **Beth**, I loved how she puked on him too. And to think I used to be SVaughn. Oh well, how times change. Keep those reviews coming, I definitely love them!

**Ar**** dheis Dé go raibh a h-anam**

_We're All Alone in This___

Shielding her eyes from the bright light shining in, she walked out. It took a moment to adjust her eyes to the outside world, having been on an airplane for the past few hours. From her perch above the runway, she could make out several cars speeding towards the plane. They stopped, randomly spread out like homes in the country, and people jumped out. They ran toward the plane as she walked down. 

Suddenly arms were flying, and she felt like she was being dragged down onto the ground by an assault of people. Her father, her mother, Will, and others that she couldn't see had wrapped their arms around her. She could hear sobs and feel tears, but whether they were her own or others, she couldn't tell. 

They stepped back in unison, just as suddenly as they had grasped her, and all took a second to stare in wonderment. Her mother, however, did not give her as much room, but stood contentedly by her shoulder, running her fingers through her hair. 

Sydney looked down shyly, "Hi." She didn't know what to say to them, for in her mind she had seen them only days ago. 

At this her mother broke down and started to cry in her shoulder. She hadn't known her mother to be the emotional type. Sure, she had seen her cry, but that had been more for effect than emotion. But this time she could feel the raw emotion in her violently shaking body. 

"I've missed you, baby… you're finally back… you're alive… oh baby, I've missed you," she whispered into her shoulder. 

"It's okay, Mommy," she soothed, instantly reverting to the pet name. She hadn't said _mommy_ in years, but she felt the need to today. She felt that if she called her mommy, she'd still be able to kiss her pain away. 

Her mother choked a few times, then stopped sobbing and pulled back. She gave Sydney a soft smile and said, "We've all missed you so much, baby."

To this Will, Weiss, Marshall, and Dixon nodded. "We're so glad that you're back, and unharmed," Jack spoke up.

Sydney looked down at the ground, "I wish I could say that I missed you too."

"What do you mean?" both Will and Dixon asked at the same time. 

She had picked out a very nice piece of gravel and tried to melt it with her eyes. She couldn't meet anyone else's eyes, she was too afraid she would have another breakdown again. Her mother gave her a soft squeeze on the shoulder, and she felt the strength to tell them. "I can't remember anything. Well, not the last two years at least. The last thing I remember is shooting the double. Nothing else."

"Oh baby," her mother wailed into her arms again. 

"I'm fine, Mom," she said. "It'll just take some getting used to, but I'll be okay."

"You won't have to get used to it, Sydney," her father addressed her. Smiling slightly at her, he continued, "We're taking you to the Joint Task Force, and we'll book you an immediate appointment with a psychologist."

"Don't worry about it. I've been gone for two years and can't remember it, what are another few days?" Sydney tried to joke. Her reply, however, made the group even more somber.   

"In fact, we should probably be heading there now, shouldn't we Jack?" Will questioned, and the latter mentioned, nodding. 

"Sydney, you can ride with me," Vaughn said from behind her. 

She nodded, it would be nice to ride to the building without someone crying over her. It wasn't that she didn't care; it was that she felt so bad for causing their pain. She didn't want to sit and feel hollow, indifferent while they were in so much turmoil.

Will hugged Sydney before he walked to his car with Dixon and Marshall. "I'm so glad you're back," he whispered in her ear. "Don't go disappear on us again, okay?"

Sydney kissed the side of his head, "I won't. I promise."

The rest said their goodbyes, and promised to see her at the task force. She then waited for Vaughn to gather up his suitcase and followed him to his car.

"Miiiike!" a woman's voice shouted in front of her. 

Vaughn's head shot up and he smiled slightly. "That would be Elaina," he said to her.

Sydney stared at the woman who was walking towards them. She had light brown hair that fell down her back in soft waves, and she had olive skin. She wasn't particularly tall, maybe five feet five or so, and she was smiling brightly.

"You must be Sydney," she said excitedly. "I'm Elaina, Michael's wife! I'm so excited to meet you; I've heard such amazing things about you."

Suddenly Sydney was pulled into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're back."

Sydney stood stiffly. True, she had accepted that Vaughn had a wife. But accepting his wife and being hugged by his wife were two completely different things. Elaina pulled back and smiled at her again. _It doesn't matter_, Sydney thought. 

"What are you doing here, Laina?" Vaughn questioned.

Elaina turned and smiled at him, "I called Will in the morning after you left, and he told me that you had gone to find her. He called me and told me that you'd be here today, so I drove out to see you."

Vaughn looked at Sydney for a second. "I don't think Syd's in a social mood right now. I have to take her back down to the office so she can be debriefed, why don't you go home?"

"You should bring her over for dinner!" Elaina squealed. 

"Honey, she's probably going to have to stay in medical services or something for a while. But I'm sure after that she can come over."

_It doesn't matter that he just called her honey. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. I do not care._

"Does that sound good, Sydney?" Elaina asked.

Sydney gave a polite smile, "Yeah, great."

Sydney was rewarded with another hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Perfect!" Elaina cried. "It's was so great to meet you, Sydney!"

With that Elaina walked off to her car, and Sydney breathed a silent sigh of relief. She wasn't sure how much more perkiness she could stand. 

"Sorry. She's wanted to meet you ever since she started hearing about you. She's not always this… hyper," Vaughn said with a smile. 

"That's good to know."

"Anyway, my car is this way," he said, pulling lightly on her arm to lead her in the proper direction. Sydney was surprised to find that his car was not the standard, black sedan that almost every CIA agent had. Instead, it was a Nissan Pathfinder, with a blood red, maroon-ish exterior. 

"So, what all is going to happen when I get to the task force building?" Sydney asked.

"I honestly don't know the exact plan, because I wasn't here recently. What I do know is that you will be debriefed, you'll have to be extensively examined by medical services, you'll see a CIA psychologist, undergo drug-induced regression, and you'll be interrogated. You'll probably be held there for a few days, just to make sure that everything you say is true. And then you'll be free to go and get on with your life."

"It'll be weird to go back there," Sydney voiced, stating the obvious. 

"In the beginning I'm sure it will be. Everything has changed, but you'll get used to it."

_Besides, _she thought, _ t__ doesn't matter._

"What are the major things that have changed?" Sydney asked. "Just so I'm not completely unfamiliar with everything."

"Well, every once in a while Sark comes in to help us with something. That's obviously something big. Kendall has less of a roll in giving us missions. Now he mainly sits in his oversized office and barks orders to those unfortunate secretaries of his. Weiss actually does his work, which is probably the most shocking change of all," Vaughn said, winking at her. 

Sydney let out a small laugh, "I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

By now they had made the short trip from the airfield to the task force building, and Vaughn rolled down his window to flash his ID at the guard.

Sydney was escorted in the building by Vaughn, who hung close by her side. They walked into the rotunda, and Sydney suddenly felt the urge to crawl into his arms and never come out. She could feel all the eyes on her as she walked across the tile floor. She swore she could hear mice crawling around, it was so silent. 

_Please don't let it matter,_ Sydney thought. 

**Review please, it will make me a happy camper! I'll try to have a new chapter up pretty soon, with a sweet Sark/Syd scene, and an answer to some of those lingering questions from the finale ::coughthescarcough:: ;)**


	4. Hold My Hands, Please

**AN- **Yes, I'm a very slow writer. This I realize. But there's only one more chapter left, and I've already started it, so hopefully it will be up soon. The poem used towards the end of this chapter is **Love Sonnet XI **by **Pablo Neruda. And the medicine I used is just something I completely made up, so if you lose two years of your life mysteriously, don't go asking your doctor for some of it! **

**Ar**** dheis Dé go raibh a h-anam**

_Hold My Hands, Please_

Suddenly, as quickly as it had fallen silent, the chaotic chatter resumed. She was flashed several bright smiles, and got a few waves. The other, newer agents she assumed bowed their heads back down to their work. She could hear keywords such as 'Hong Kong' and 'missing for two years' and knew that even if they weren't all staring at her, they were certainly still interested.

"Agent Bristow, I'm honored to have you back," Kendall said, walking up to her. He gave her what she took to be a form of a smile, and reached out to shake her hand. 

_It matters. It matters a whole hell of a lot._

"Thank you," she said meekly.

"Well," Kendall started off, instantly changing from the kind, caring man to his usual self, "you need to get down to medical services immediately, and then see Barnett for a pre-hearing."

Sydney nodded, and then turned to head down the hallway where medical services was located.

"Whoa," Vaughn said as he grabbed her upper arm. He turned her body around completely, so she was facing the entrance to the rotunda and said, "Medical services was relocated to the basement. Go that way and take the staircases down; you'll wait forever on the elevator."

"Thanks," she said, trying to ignore the stinging spot where his hand had made contact with her arm.

He flashed her a smile and then sat down at his desk, turning his attention onto his work.

She made her way to medical services, this time without interruptions, and rapped lightly on the glass door that separated the medical ward from the rest of the floor. 

"Hello, I'm Doctor Nguyen, and you must be Sydney Bristow," a cheerful voice greeted her, after a young Asian man opened the door. He had a bright smile, but it wasn't a fake, phony smile that made her want to pull her hair out. It was comforting and warm, and made her feel less volatile.

"Yes, I am," Sydney replied, sending him one of her first smile since Vaughn had shown up in the safehouse.

"Well, I know this won't be the most fun thing, but uh…" he said, handing her a green hospital gown. "You'll have to wear this. Don't bother taking off your undergarments, I'm sure we won't have to go that far."

Sydney almost groaned, but complied. She followed his finger that pointed to an area that was closed off by curtains, and changed from her present outfit into the gown. It was, however, better than most hospital gowns she had been in, as it zipped up in the back instead of the single tie she was used too. 

She moved the curtain towards the side of the wall, and looked around for the doctor.

"One moment Agent Bristow, I just need to grab my stethoscope," the doctor's voice came. 

"All right," Dr. Nguyen said, popping up unexpectedly behind Sydney. "I need to perform a standard physical, so if you will hop up on the table, we can get this done with."

"First, I'd like you to breathe in deeply," he said, sticking the stethoscope on her back. "This is simply a check to make sure you still have lungs."

Sydney would have laughed, but she tried to concentrate on the doctor's orders. 

"Yep, you're good. Both lungs are fully intact. Now, this time I'd like you to turn to the side so I can look in your ears."

Sydney did this, but with some reservation. She had never liked having something stuck in her ears, and because of this she scrunched up her face in anticipation.

"What is that face for? I haven't even looked in your ears yet!" the doctor cried in a humorous tone. 

"I'm expecting it, which is half of the battle."

The doctor looked in her ears, with Sydney hating every second of it, and then in her nose and mouth. 

"Now, if you'll lie down, we'll see that everything is in its proper place."

She scooted down, and his hands probed her torso.

"Oww!" Sydney cried as he pressed near where her scar was. 

"Where does it hurt?" the doctor asked, all traces of his earlier wit gone.

Sydney moved his finger slowly until it was directly on top of the scar. "Right there. There's a scar there, one that I don't remember. It's about two inches long, or so."

Dr. Nguyen pressed on it a little bit; Sydney flinched and bit her lip.

"Can you lift up the gown a little bit, so I can see it?"

Sydney nodded and did so, revealing the scar and the red splotch around it.

After a few minutes of examining the scar and the skin around it, the doctor announced, "I wouldn't worry about it. It seems that your abductors were concerned about your safety. I'm almost ninety-nine percent sure that your scar is from an appendectomy, or the removal of your appendix. I'll have to x-ray you to make sure, but it's in the right position, and is the right length for one."

"Is that good?" Sydney asked, slightly worried. 

"It can be good, if your appendix was inflamed, but it won't affect you if it wasn't. The appendix does nothing other than get in the way," the doctor said, pulling the gown back down and turning his attention to her right arm.

"Where were you found again?"

"Hong-Kong," Sydney replied.

The doctor nodded and reached behind him, pulling out a mirror. "Your abductors must have been paranoid about your health." He pulled Sydney's arm up and positioned the mirror so she could see a small imprint, about the size of a tack, on the upper side of her arm. "That's what the vaccine against SARS leaves."

The rest of the physical went fairly quickly, and an x-ray was scheduled for the next day. Although she had received a clean bill of health, Sydney knew she would not be going home that night. She walked down to the rotunda and scanned the faces until she found her father, who was talking to Kendall.

"Agent Bristow, you're scheduled to see Dr. Barnett in ten minutes. I would suggest you get a move on," Kendall said before she could even reach them. 

Sydney turned around, choosing not to respond, but she did as he requested. 

When Sydney reached the door, which was wide open, she noticed the change in decoration. The room was now a pale, minty green with golden accents. 

"Agent Bristow, please come in. This won't take but ten minutes," Barnett beckoned. 

Sydney flashed the physiatrist a semi-content smile, and took her seat on the couch. 

"It's good to see you again, Agent Bristow," the older woman said, coming to lean against her desk in front of Sydney.

"And you."

"Now, you'll obviously be going through regression therapy, but in the last two years numerous medical advances have been made. One, is this drug," Barnett said, holding up a tiny bottle of clear liquid marked **Adoctate**** 13X. "Which helps the mind to remember. It's certainly no cure-all, but it does help allow the mind to open up to regression therapy. If you allow it, we'd like to give you a dosage tonight, so that we can begin regression tomorrow."**

"Of course," Sydney whispered.

"I also have to warn you of the side-effects. You may begin to feel dizzy, faint or sick to the stomach. You may experience rapid flashbacks, have dreams that don't make any sense, and see things from the past for split-seconds. The latter effects are usual, and shouldn't be anything more than a simple nuisance. However, the things that you see should be written down or monitored. Things that you see only once could simply be a dream that is being remembered, but reoccurring events are typically a true memory of something that has happened."

"Okay."

"Well then, you can have 40 milliliters tonight, and 40 more tomorrow at noon," Barnett said, handing her the bottle.

Sydney gulped down the medicine and nearly choked on the acidic taste of it.

*

Four hours later, Sydney was lying in her bed asleep, and the last of the CIA agents were packing up to leave. One, however, was watching Sydney sleep, a content look on his face.

****_I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.  
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.  
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day  
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps. _

_I hunger for your sleek laugh,  
your hands the color of a savage harvest,  
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,  
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond. _

_I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,  
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,  
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes, _

_and__ I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,  
hunting for you, for your hot heart,  
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue._


End file.
